Mistakes

Do you ever wonder if you made the right decision?

Sometimes it’s hard for me to move on. Did I make the right choice? How would have things turned out if I had decided to stay? Would they be better than they are now, or am I just fantasizing better possibilities because I’m not thrilled with the current outcome?

There’s no use living in the past – I understand this. But sometimes I get caught imagining how things would have been and still could be. There’s a thrill in the possibility and in the unknown and there’s this part of me that wants to push out of my comfort zone and surprise everyone – including myself.

But then I wonder, is this me being averse to change? Have I come to this conclusion because comfort is an old friend to me, and I’m embracing what I know? Or am I looking back in regret because I’m so used to this warm familiarity, and wondering what new and exciting opportunities I may have had?

I have really been struggling, agonizing over what I’m slowly coming to realize may be a mistake. I go back and forth over something that I can no longer change because the decision has been made. I cannot go back with the knowledge that I know now and choose differently.

And I wonder if I could. If I had the luxury to go back and make a different decision, I’m not sure that I would have the strength to. Could I deny the obvious logic and details that back up the decision I made to go with the other decision where my heart is?

Or, perhaps there is no right choice. If my mind and heart are pulling in two different directions, does one have to be wrong? Perhaps there are certain things that are wrong about one choice, but other things that are also wrong with the other choice. Perhaps there is no winning between two hard decisions and I’m stressing myself out over nothing. Perhaps if I had made a different decision, I still would be stressing out over whether it was the right one. Perhaps I would be scared and nervous and lonely, missing the comforts of what I know.

But maybe not.

It’s funny sometimes looking back. I once thought that my heart was right here where I am now, but I’m slowly learning that a piece of it is elsewhere, too. How do you get your whole heart back together again? Do you just learn to live with your losses?

Sometimes the hardest part about making a decision isn’t actually making a choice; the hardest part is living with the decision that you’ve made.

But I guess you don’t realize your decisions are mistakes until it’s already too late.

9 thoughts on “Mistakes”

  1. I have no idea what is this “mistake” you made, but know that if you ever need to talk, feel free to message me on Twitter, Facebook or email :) Sometimes it helps to discuss what you’re feeling with someone. I find that it helps when you vent because it lets you get some load off and it also helps you sort out and analyse things differently. Plus, I find that when I do that, it also helps me discover things I hadn’t thought of before.

    But I think we all have those moments or days when we ponder about our decisions and think about all the what-ifs. I think it’s natural to wonder about those as long as we don’t go overboard and start obsessing with the past instead of focusing on the present. Whatever decision we make, we do have to live with them, but we also have the choice to change it or at least go a different route if we can. For an example, I majored in youth development for my master’s, but now I am wondering if I should get another one in a different field of study . . .

    I can tell you that sometimes we have to make a difficult choice, and that can lead to either more headache or work out all in the end. Sometimes we want to follow what’s in our heart, but then we don’t and go the more logical route, and that can make us wonder if we have made the right choice or not. It can be hard making those difficult decisions, but life is not simple.

    Anyway, feel free to contact me if you ever want an impartial third-party listener :) Also know that whatever you decide to do, you have friends and families who will support you!

  2. Hey! How are you? I hope all is well?

    I honestly haven’t a clue what mistake you’ve made, but I know in the end you’ve done the right thing. If you’d like to talk about this with me, I’d love to listen to what you have say. Actually, I’ve just emailed you about something. I just hope everything is okay?

  3. I’ve never really thought about it, well not like that but I do tend to say yes to a lot more things because I don’t want to feel that way. Of course that comes with its own bag of worms.

    I don’t really have much to say to this because it seems you already got a pretty good handle on it – well in terms of understanding there is no changing it at this point. I’m sorry you feel you made a mistake though.

  4. I feel that if you have thought enough about the decision you made, even if you do think ‘what if’, these are only curiosity sparkers. It sounds like you have already thought long and hard about the hard decision you had to make, and you made the decision you believed was the right one. And it probably, more than likely, is the right one. I’ve been in situations where I feel I may have made a mistake, but a mistake often insinuates regret. And although I might regret something initially, I don’t live my life with deep regrets. The reason you may feel like it is a mistake is because you continue to think of the other possibility and how it compares to your current situation.

    Time changes things, and each decision would have set you on a different path. There is no way of knowing where those paths would have led later on. And you wouldn’t have known that you’d be in this situation now. I often try to follow my heart over my mind. Most of all, I try to do what makes me happy. Just me, and nobody else.

    I just want to reach out and offer a listening ear, I hope everything works out OK for you ❤️

  5. There are often times when I question if I made the right decision about certain things. Those “what if” questions always float around in my head about actions I’ve made. At the end, this is part of life. We have to make choices and even though it may not be the best sometimes, we do what we can to cope with the outcome.

    I hope this “mistake” that you made is not going to follow you for a long time. I try to distract myself as much as I can to keep my mind off of things. If you ever need to reach out, feel free to talk to me and those in the blogging community :)♥

  6. I don’t know if you posted this because you wanted to post a well written article (because it is!) or if you’re actually feeling this way? Feel free to email me or talk to me on Instagram if you want to talk. :) I think like this a lot because I tend to be future oriented and I worry a lot about everything. LOL!

    I like to think that everything you do and making mistakes are important and all in part in your life’s journey. Like getting divorced, getting fired from a job or breaking up seem hard at first but those type of things are supposed to happen. If we don’t make mistakes, we aren’t really human. And there can never be growth if we don’t make mistakes. Isn’t the point of life to learn, grow and discover what life is about?

  7. I hope you are feeling better now. No matter what it is, you can rectify anything, you can change your life. Just do it. Sometimes, the things that look like mistakes are the ones that put you on a path you didn’t consider before. Hugs x

  8. I don’t know what kind of “mistake” you did so I can’t really give a specific answer. But I have also experienced moments where I just think of all the decisions I made and think about what would have happened if I had decided differently. Just like what you said, there are times when I don’t feel too satisfied with my current situation and I just think about the other opportunities that I let go of. Then again, I think that these “what-ifs” are merely questions that arise out of curiosity about an alternate reality that you could have had if you had made a different decision.

    I hope everything’s okay with you and don’t hesitate to drop an email or something if you need to talk! :)

  9. I know the feeling of second guessing yourself even if it isn’t a big decision or not. I know we make mistakes and sometimes we can’t see it until after all is said and done. Just email me if you need someone to talk to~!

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