Don’t Wanna Grow Up

I went to the bank with my mom today to look at different options of how I was going to be spending my money on my trip to France and Italy. We didn’t know what would be best: to get a travel card, to get a debit card with my savings account, or to just open a new checking account and use a debit card with that. We decided to go with the latter as the others had too many restrictions. I had already had a savings account, but only my parents and siblings had checking accounts because they had jobs and had bills to pay, etc. It made me feel all grown up, like I was going to walk out of their and start paying rent or something (which is completely ridiculous).

I also went to a couple places to pick up applications for jobs. I went and picked one up for the pool a county over (because our county doesn’t have a public pool) to work in the concession stand. My sister already works there, so I’m hoping I can get a job as well. I really need one. I want to save up for a car, and in the long run for college. I know my parents will help pay for some of the cost, but I also don’t want to be one of those people who is 65 and still paying college loans off. Does that make sense?

I’ve been working with my mom, who cleans houses part-time, since I was probably twelve or thirteen. While it’s nice when I can work with her, it’s limited only to the summer, or days that I have off from school (like this week). I just need to get a steady job.

I feel like lately I’ve just had tons of responsibility kind of thrust on me. I realize it’s all a part of growing up, but it’s just stressing me out. I need a job but I haven’t been able to find one. I’ve applied tons of places but haven’t heard anything back. I’m really trying, but I can’t seem to find anything and no one seems to be hiring.

I don’t know what I want to do with my life which scares the crap out of me because I have to decide where I want to go to college soon and what I want to go into and study and make all these decisions that will affect my future. I just don’t know! It doesn’t help that the only thing that remotely interests me, which is French, everyone scolds. I told my dad I was thinking about studying it and he was all, “French?! You can’t do anything with that! I’m just going to be negative and make you feel bad! Blah blah blah!” Urgh. -.-

I feel like it was just yesterday that I entered high school as this little naive freshman girl. I still feel like her in some ways. Sometimes I wish I could just go back so I wouldn’t have to freak out about all these things.

It’s just been one of those days.

16 thoughts on “Don’t Wanna Grow Up”

  1. I felt the same when I got my own debit card (despite the fact that it has Hello Kitty on it xD). You feel like…I don’t know, an adult? Someone who’s definitely going to start paying for themselves more. :P And I love having it. That’s good you got one – no cash to carry around and everything.

    I hope you find some jobs. :/ It seems like the economy is just destroying chances for younger people to find jobs, even the ones like working at a pool concession stand. But good luck anyways!

    That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling – I don’t know what I want to do (though I think I want to get into forensic anthropology, but I haven’t talked to my parents about it yet :X), and I feel like time is pressing on me because I have high school options that can help me get into certain fields. Don’t really feel super pressed for time though. I mean, obviously think hard about it and make a decision soon, but don’t worry like crazy!

    But that’s just me thinking.

    It seems as though everyone’s heard of All Time Low, but they haven’t listened to them. Definitely listen to songs like “Weightless,” or “Dear Maria, Count Me In.” Nothing Personal and So Wrong, It’s Right have some of the best songs. c:

    I’m excited to start Glass, which I got in the box set that came with Crank. :D It’s such a captivating story. I haven’t been able to put it down all day.

    Ha! I honestly laughed at that. “The older they get they get more senile.” Pretty much true. She’s an old bat, and sometimes she’s nice, like she let me do the homework today without question, but other times… x_x LOL, yeah your physics teacher sounds pretty much like my science teacher!

    LOL, subs provide such wonderful stories. x) Especially the old ones who talk about their prostate (which, yes, I did have one of those…I couldn’t help but laugh during the entire class).

  2. (Reply to comment on my site)
    Yeah. XD I have relatives in South Africa. But none of them a black because my grandpa is Dutch so yeah. All white ^^ Oh I know Uganda. :D In South Africa there are lots of people on the streets selling these really cool thingos. :D They’re like, wire figure things with these beads for colour! I can’t really explain it. :’D There are also wood carved animals. :D And the people on the streets selling them made them themselves! They’re pretty cool.

    Fahrenheit..I’ve..never heard of it. XDD Well then make sure next time you put in brackets how many degrees celsius it is. 8DD In Korea they also use Fahrenheitt!!

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLNICEEE. Normally when there are spiders I just stay not below it, because they are ALWAYS on the ceiling that I can’t reach. Dx Once there was one in the bath..and I went crazy trying to wash it down the drain. ;’D

    Yeah sure!! Yeah…sorry about that. I haven’t got my files up yet..heheh…SO YEAH SURE 8DD I don’t think my affiliates page is up yet…XDD So yeah, just wait a while. ^w^

    LOLOLOLOLOL. I still find it funny that you say mom not mum. :DD You must’ve felt old. XDD I pay mortgages!! Lol….I pay on Animal Crossing…hehe. 8DD And I have a shopping card and a bank account!!! Still on Animal Crossing..heheheheheheehehehe

    Oh wow! You want a car. Have you got your driver’s license or something? And what are college loans….? I’m not sure if you have them in Australia. Because here, there is no such thing as middle school and “college”..I think. o3o

    French isn’t that bad…it helps you get a good VCE score if you learn another language so then you can get a better job..I have no idea what I wanna do. Because. I’m. Stupid. LOLNO. I’m actually not stupid. I’m liek, really good at maths, English, drawing, music and sport..hehe. But I’m still stupid not to know what I wanna do.

    WHAT IS A FRESHMAN XDD

  3. Wow, you’re going to France and Italy? I’ve been to both – I definitely liked Italy better but they are both real nice :)

    I remember getting my Student Account for university and with it came an overdraft which maybe wasn’t a good idea to give me… Obviously, I kind of needed it, I realised, because of rent and stuff but it proper stresses me out when I’m in overdraft :P

    Good luck with job hunting, I’m also looking for one as well! & with saving up for college and getting a car :D

    Congratulations on getting your own domain! x

  4. I remember last summer when my mom took me to get a teen checking account. It was weird, haha. I’ve never been inside a bank for any reason other than to stand there awkwardly while my mom had a check cashed. But its lame, because there’s this stupid rule that I can’t have an actual debit card until I’m 18 or something.

    Anyway, I understand what you mean about not wanting to grow up. The idea of having to support yourself and figure out what you want to do with your life can be pretty scary. My sister’s kind of in the same boat as you. She’s 19 and right now she’s just working, because she can’t decide what she wants to study. Px

    Also, good luck with finding a job~!

  5. Oh lord. Growing up is a scary prospect. I have no idea how the heck I’m going to survive in the world of work. :(

    Although part of me wants to get away from school, the other part is like ‘I don’t wanna gooo. :'(‘ I’ve only got 3-4 months left really. It’s terrifying. I’m heading to college straight after, but I suppose I’d have to find a week-end job, and I have no idea how to go about it.

    Anyway, I wish you all the luck with your job applications. :)

  6. That’s my problem too. xD I have it linked to my iTunes account, which means I’ll sometimes spend $5 and not even realize how much I’ve just spent, and then instantly regret it when my bank account money dwindles. :| So, definitely make sure you don’t overspend! LOL.

    Hopefully you get the job. It sucks that, nowadays, people are hiring the older people, and completely ignoring the younger people who need jobs too. It gets really annoying, but I guess our economy is just too trashed for them to care. Money makes the world go round.

    That’s really great that your mom is supporting you. :P And I, too, am more comfortable knowing that you don’t have to stick to one major, and can switch during the year. I think that’s really cool. Hopefully you settle on something you enjoy!

    I’ve just started Glass, and it’s already fantastic. Definitely pick it up from the bookstore. :)

    LOL, he sounds like The Lovely Bones creeper, for sure. Ever since I saw that movie, I’ve been really creeped out about older men. I try to avoid them in stores whenever I can. -_- I’m really paranoid, but that movie made me that way (and other things, too). But, yes, the sub talked about his prostate. He even pointed and explained to us why it was a problem for him (he had prostate cancer or something). Needless to say, I walked out of there with more knowledge than I wanted. xD

  7. You’re going to France! Wow! That’s awesome.

    I currently have debit account attached to a savings account. It’s kind of nice because the savings account earns small amounts of interest while the checking account is very convenient. But it really all depends on which bank your account is with.

    As a high school junior/senior, it does feel like a lot is thrown at you at once. And then the set of conflicts where you don’t want to do the things that your parents want you to do either begins or heightens as you choose your college and declare your major. (I was there a few years ago… and in the end, my problems were solved when a college I didn’t really want to go to, but my parents liked and would offer good financial aid rejected me.)

    So as a French major, you can be am ambassador/translator, and you can teach. I had a high school teacher who recommended that people with interests like yours combine their major with something else in college to make them stronger candidates for jobs. I’m not sure how it’d work with France; you’d have to ask around actual adults who use French regularly. As long as you’re open-minded for these next couple of years, you will make everything work out well. :D

  8. When I was younger I really didn’t want to grow up. Now though, I feel differently. Of course there are going to be so many responsibilities, but it’s all a part of growing up and it’s got to happen! My parents were initially not keen on my career prospects at all. Soon I changed my mind anyway. If you’re going to be doing French for a long time to come, remind your dad that you can be a translator and a teacher and even land a good job in France. It is important that you love what you do, no matter what it is. :)

    I hope you are able to find a job. Even something small to get a bit of cash on the side. I spent a lot of my work money last year so now I’m really, really trying to save up. Not for anything in particular but so I have money just in case. And I’m in debt now because my payments just get deferred, but knowing that I will have to pay everything back makes me a little scared. D;

  9. Well I bet the things I got in South Africa are way awesomer. >DDD Now. I. Really. Really. REALLY. Support. South. Africa. 8DD And now I actually know what to imagine when my mum mentions my relatives. XD

    …lolol. You like to be different. Yes. You’re different.

    YEAAAHHHH. Just put my link up then. >D

    o3o Mum. Is. Normal. Mum=mummy. makes sense. Dad=Daddy. makes more sense.

    Oh wow!! And…how old are you?? Lol I forgot. XD Wait..it says right there. You’re 16!! Here you have to be 18+ to get your driver’s license.

    Ohh!!! SO THAT’S WHAT COLLEGE IS. XDD It’s University. ^^

    We have primary school which is prep to grade 6, then we have high school which is 7-12. ^w^

  10. Things happen in life :/. Where we have to make our bank accounts from savings to checking. D:! Do whats best. What if you lost your card? :O I was like, Go for a new account, and debit it. :P. Once you`re totally financially stabled, use a credit card. :O!

    Good luck with applying for jobs! I want to apply for a job, but my time management sucks. :/. I can get all of the thing s done, but I love leisure time :P!

    I hate spiders. I get paranoid when it washes down the drain. D:! Like, what if it starts reproducing baby spiders and then baby spiders comes out of the drain, and clogs it?! Sorry about that :P

    When time comes, you`ll be ready for college. All you can do now is to prepare! And. Don`t give up. Your future depends on it because you can`t get far with just a highschool/ged. Unless you live in a foreign foreign country :P

    I hate it when people are inetiquette commenter. I either want to call them out or … Get mad. D: But both happens. I`m like. Wow..

    When the teacher is gone from the music program, I think there`s going to be a replacement teacher. :/. Which is ridiculous because why would you replace something that has made a great mark?! I complained. With a 3 letter document. :P

    I wish my French teacher is like that.. My French Teacher is a biased …. Person. Ugh. She treats me like crap in class, along with other people. And then when I had her for homeroom, shes like, “I miss you in French!” No way!

    I didn`t know pizza sold well :P! I`m not a fan of pizza. :P! But I don`t even know what sells well. :/. So far, everyone in my school sells 30 chocolate bars and get a 15ish dollar profit. Give or take.

    :O I want to know how to cram everything in a suitcase :P I remember that I saw a video of a dude cramming like a lot of stuff in a suitcase :O! That is smart. :P. I remembered when I had my road trip last year, I couldn`t cram everything in a bag. I brought 3 bags instead -___-!

    My birthday is on June 14. :P

    Take care :D

  11. I recently got a Visa card that I can use online, in shops, etc. and it makes me feel grown up too. xD Your trips sound exciting though~

    I hope you get a job at the pool! I don’t know how many times I’ve gone round to the local pub to see if they have any washing up slots. -_- I need money!

    It made sense, dw, and I agree.

    Aw, things will settle down soon! And if you want to do French, do French. I mean, there’s no point not picking it and then regretting it, is there? (:

    The guitar is complicated, I guess, but if you start at the bottom and work your way upwards I’m sure it’s not so bad.

    I’d love to learn piano! Pretty much everyone who’s commented can play piano. xD I can play the basics but nothing fancy.

    Thank you! :3

    Take care! xx

  12. Yes! That’s the worst… and even when you do all the work the other people claim they did some work. Um, no. Working with friends is different, of course ^^

    It was definitely fun but also totally embarrassing. xD

    I just hate group work overall. I’m natural anti-social and I find it easier to rely on myself.

    I’m sure it will! ^^

    Take care! xx

  13. Congrats on the checking account!
    Oh yeah, I have those days where it is all to much! But it is good to get stressed out while you are still at home. Then maybe when you actually have to leave your nerves have settled a bit.
    I want to get a job too! I have sky scrappers in my town and I wouldn’t mind putting on a suit and working as some kind of page. :) Good luck on the job search!
    You can teach French and maybe even get a job over in France do something like that. You can also be a translator at maybe an embassy. That would be exciting!
    _________
    I’m glad you liked the icons!
    April babies are the best! I will be 17. :) And I see you will be too. :)

  14. That’s really sweet of your aunts. :) I would definitely get them something to show them you’re really thankful for them raising that money. <3 That's sweet of them to do.

    I never understood how people could do all of that on the ornaments. I have one, too, that a friend of my mom's made me, and it's absolutely gorgeous. I just never understood how they made it. o_o

    Thank you for that. <3

    Ha, I'd love it if money grew on trees. xD But I guess that'd make everything much to easy for us.

    At least you're exposed to some kind of worth ethic. A lot of people who do get jobs don't even have any kind of drive to work, and that really upsets me because I have a drive to work, but they get the job because they're older? WTF?

    My old History teacher from last year was really creepy like that. I guess some girl bent over at another school, and he was behind her, and like thrust his hips or something, and the girl reported him for sexual assault. He never stays at a school for more than 3 years, I guess. But he's kept quiet at our school so far. He used to call me "honey," and once he called me "babe." I was really pissed off. Now I just avoid him whenever I can! :O

  15. Oh my goodness. I so know what you mean. We grow up so fast that we don’t have time to think about our future or what’s in stored for us. Initially though (for some reason I like using that word :/ ) we do have to grow up and make our own decisions. I still do ask my dad for permission on some things, but since I’m with Andrew he tells me whenever I want to go over to his place just let him know and he’ll take me. I hate the driving arrangement as of late, but it’s mostly because my transmission blew out, and I haven’t been really saving my money but next month I will definitely start saving it. But only to get a few things like my friend’s birthday present, the rug and the curtains and my new hairstyle if at all. But yeah. Go with the debit card first, cause credit cards will eat at you trust me I’ve been there and done that. I’m still owing Capitol One for over $1,000.00 but since they never took the interest off like they said they would when I first got it, they initially lied to me and said they did when in fact they did not. So I’m not paying it. They can hound me till the day I die but I aint paying it. Ya know? But eh, life goes on. I just hope you have fun in France and Italy. I’ve never gotten the chance to actually see other countries yet :( .

  16. Hey! Omg! Yes I can totally relate. All this “adult” stuff (not that I mind, but it just makes me fee so old, and can be intimidating). My mom said I need to choose which college I will be going to next year by the end of March! O_O Um…. Yea. I have no clue what I want to do or where I want to go, although out of eleven colleges, I have eliminted most of them and now have it down to four. But still, FOUR? When I need to pick one?
    I might has well tack them all up on a dart board and blindly give a toss. *sigh* and my parents also want me to get a job this summer.

    Well… *shrugs* it will all work out. (hopes!)

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