A Lesson In Friendship

Have you ever had one of those moments where someone tells you something and you are so completely taken aback that you lose your breath? Or it felt like someone punched you in the face?

I had a close friend tell me yesterday that after high school, she doesn’t want to be friends with me. She wants to “move on” with her life. She said that she knew we were eventually going to stop talking so she “might as well do it now rather than later.”

A little bit of background: This girl, whom we shall call Jay, is part Vietnamese and part Chinese and I’ve known her for twelve years now.  I invited her to my Thanksgiving last November. My group of friends and I surprised her at the airport when she went out of town for two months and we threw her a welcome back party. We threw her a surprise birthday party. She went to homecomings with us and was there at every group gathering. She’s valedictorian. I played tennis with her and she eats with us at lunch. We were pretty close friends.

Jay had been ignoring her best friend and being rather rude to her but wouldn’t tell her why, no matter how often her best friend asked. I’m pretty close with her best friend as well and she was extremely upset, so I called Jay and asked what was up. The day after this was prom, and I didn’t want all of this going on at prom. So she replied that she was trying to slowly pull away from us, because she didn’t want to talk to us after we graduated.

How do you say that to a friend? Even a best friend?

She went on to tell her best friend that she enjoyed her company and had fun, but she didn’t mean anything more to her than another acquaintance she had in class. But I think what really hurts: she said she was “completely okay” if we didn’t want to talk to her anymore.

Do you just give up your friends just like that? You simply say “go away” and move on? How do you just forget all those memories you had with someone that you really truly cared about? She came to my Thanksgiving; I’m pretty sure she has met more of my extended family than Andrew has in the two years we’ve been dating.

There’s a lot more that she said that really stung. It really did feel like a slap in the face, like someone took my breath away. She was one of my closest friends, and I feel like I don’t even know her anymore. And while I know it hurts to me, it must be terrible for her best friend, who is completely heartbroken.

I’m not crying. At first, I was just completely shocked. I think I’m more disappointed than anything. You think you know someone – someone I’ve known for twelve years – and then they do something like this. Someone who you were really close with, did everything with. It makes you wonder if you truly know people at all.

And of all times for her to do this? The last month of school, right before graduation and all the awesome senior events. It was like she’s just trying to be malicious.

Prom’s tonight, but this ain’t gonna rain on my parade!

2 thoughts on “A Lesson In Friendship”

  1. I’ve never heard of anything like this. Jay is pretty shitty for doing/saying that to her best friend. She’s really ungrateful, isn’t she? It seems like it by the fact that she thinks those things, still..Don’t let it rain on your parade. It’s not worth it!

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